COMING OFF DRUGS: HOW THE FAMILY REACTS-GET ON WITH YOUR OWN LIFE AND WHAT S GOOD FOR YOU IS GOOD FOR THE ALCOHOLIC OR THE ADDICT

Families who have an addict or alcoholic need to stop giving all their attention to the drug user or the drinker. Making the sick person the focus of attention is extremely bad for him. It encourages him to manipulate those around him.

Start practising emotional detachment. If the addict is angry or unhappy, it doesn't mean you have to have the same feelings. Don't let the emotional disorder of the addict's life spill over into yours.

Start focusing on your own life. Take proper rest. Take proper recreation. Go to the cinema, the theatre, parties, the pub and so forth, just as you would do if everything were all right.

Even partners of alcoholics or addicts, who may be in financially very difficult circumstances, can do something they enjoy - even if it's only going to a museum, taking a walk in the park, or watching a favourite soap opera on television.

What s good for you is good for the alcoholic or the addict-Make a conscious effort to rebuild your own life. Repair your social life. You may well not want to share this with the addict or the alcoholic, since drug users and alcoholics are not fun to have around. Make your own friends.

Join Families Anonymous or Al-anon. In these meetings you will receive all the love and encouragement you need from people who have been in similar circumstances. These self-help organisations are made up of families and friends who know what it is like to have an addict or an alcoholic in their life. There are mothers, fathers, wives, husbands, partners, lovers, sisters, brothers and just friends. They know what you are going through.

To a newcomer, full of guilt and anger and despair, the meetings may seem rather strange at first. That is why it is very important to go to at least six of their meetings before making up your mind whether to let them help you.

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Anti-Smoking